


opia

by rosieeexox



Series: obscure sorrows [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bartender Harry, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Shy Harry, Soulmates, except he doesnt do any actual bartending, louis is loud harry is shy and theyre in love the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5193530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosieeexox/pseuds/rosieeexox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye; which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	opia

**Author's Note:**

> the second part of my series based on the buzzfeed article (http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/my-pain-has-a-name#.dlJ04VpGW) about words describing emotions you didn't know had a name.
> 
> there's 23 words on the list so there will be as many as 23 works in this series.
> 
> title of the series is from the book/dictionary by john keonig where he lists all these words with their definitions.
> 
> (also i have not edited this at all and I'm sure I will eventually so please excuse any mistakes and if any of them are too horrible just pretend they dont exist thx

Harry had always considered himself to be a shy person. His life constantly consisted of mumbled apologies when bumping into someone on the street or in the cereal isle of the grocery store, of averted gazes while walking from his house to the pub he worked at. Surprisingly, the pub was the one place he didn't feel shy. It was like as soon as he put on his apron and name tag, he became a confident, social member of society. He was able to hold eye contact and maintain a conversation. Granted, most of the people he spoke to had their eyes glassed over and spoke with a less than eloquent slur to their words, but it was a conversation nonetheless. Harry prided himself on his work persona. Occasionally, he thought about wearing his apron and name tag outside of work. He tried it once, wore them to the mall to pick up a new pair of shoes. It turns out the dimly lit bar is pretty vital to his confidence because he ended up leaving the mall without shoes after being asked by three different people if he knew he still had his name tag on.

There were a lot of regulars who came into the bar. One of his favorites was Niall. Niall was a regular before Harry started working at Joe's Pub, which is surprising because both of them are barely legal to drink. Niall came in so often, though, that Joe ended up giving him a bartending job alongside Harry. The two of them work pretty much every shift together and could probably be blamed for Harry's bout of confidence for the few hours they're there. The thing about Niall is that he talks a lot, but he's also very easy to talk to. Harry's shyness didn't stand a chance. Not only did Niall teach him how to strike up a conversation, but he also taught him that maintaining eye contact will get him more tips, so there's that. 

It was about a week into the summer when Niall showed up to work late (as usual) and looking happier than ever.

"What's with your face?" Harry asked, causing Niall's face to turn from a grin to a scowl.

"For your information, Harold, my friends have just got back from uni and I've invited them to the pub for a round."

Harry's face must show his nerves because Niall immediately shouts out a laugh.

"Don't worry! Liam's nice and Louis is, well."

"Well?" Harry questioned.

"Louis is Louis." Niall stated after a moment. He nodded his head as if that was an ample description of a person.

It took about an hour for Niall's friends to show up, all of which Niall spent the entire time telling everyone his friends were coming.

"What's a man gotta do to get a drink around here?" Harry spun around at the sound of the strong Yorkshire accent. You didn't hear a lot of Yorkshire accents in London, Harry was pleasantly surprised.

"Louis!" Niall practically leapt over the bar to scoop the two boys into a hug. 

Harry took that time to distinguish who was who. Liam was obviously the one towering over Niall, with his biceps the size of Niall's entire body. His face was scruffy and yet he somehow still managed to look like a puppy. His brown eyes were kind and inviting and Harry could immediately tell he was as friendly as Niall let on. Harry looked at Louis at the first thing he noticed was how small he was. Which, like, okay. Niall's not a big guy, but next to Louis he looked like the Jolly Green Giant. And next to Liam, well. He looked like a pixie. A really pretty pixie with blue eyes and-

Harry's eyes immediately fell to the floor, an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. It was a different feeling than when he avoided looking at people on the street, or when he was forced to have a conversation with someone who insisted on looking him in the eye the whole time. His chest felt heavy, and he felt vulnerable and bare, which was weird because he had never seen this boy before. They knew nothing about each other and yet here he was feeling like all of his secrets were out in the open. So it's not his fault, really, that he decided he wasn't going to look at Louis before he'd ever spoken to him. 

"Harry," Niall called out from the other end of the bar. "Come join us 'round here and bring a couple pints with you."

Harry just nodded and grabbed four glasses off the shelf. They were extremely unbusy today which meant he had no excuse as to why he couldn't sit at the booth closest to the bar and share a pint with Niall and his friends. He decided to just suck it up. It's not like him and Louis were friends, he didn't  _have_  to look at him, or even talk to him. In fact, Louis probably  wouldn't even talk to him.  _Everything will be fine._

Everything was not fine.

Louis was loud and friendly, possibly even friendlier than Liam. He had started up a conversation with Harry a total of twelve times in one hour.  _Twelve._ It probably would've been more if Harry had looked at him more than once. He only chanced it when he knew Louis would be looking at Niall or Liam, but he hadn't even done that in at least 20 minutes because he had accidentally made eye contact with Louis and had to excuse himself to the bathroom to calm himself down. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling, it was just. Unusual. He looked Niall in the eye no problem. He even held Liam's eye for a full 10 seconds before Liam broke it to down the rest of his drink. It was just Louis. Louis, with his feathery brown hair and tan skin and perfect jawline. Maybe Harry couldn't look him in the eye because he was attracted to him. Maybe the fact that he would definitely like to kiss Louis on the mouth made him unable to look him in the eye because Harry hadn't gotten laid in a while so physical attraction now made him uneasy. Except he'd also probably kiss Liam on the mouth and he could look at him just fine. Whatever the reason, Harry was decidedly never looking at Louis again.

"Right, Harry?" 

Niall was talking to him.

"What?" Harry asked, shaking his head clear of the piercing blue eyes he was absolutely never going to look at for as long as he was alive.

"I said, can you believe Louis won 'Best Eyes' in Year 10?"

_Shit._

"I mean, up against  _me_  of all people! My eyes are definitely better than his greeny bluey ones!"

"Yeah," Harry said with a shrug. "They're both nice."

Louis let out a loud laugh. "Mate, I would bet you the next round on me that you don't even know what my eyes look like."

"Greeny bluey." Harry said with a smirk, looking just to the left of Louis' head to give off the illusion he was looking at him. It was a trick Niall taught him before he learned to actually make eye contact with anyone over the age of 5. Thankfully, his response earned a hearty laugh from Niall who promptly launched back into a rant about "the silver complexity" in his eyes, whatever that means. Harry pretended to be interested in Niall's speech and ignored the fact that he could see Louis looking at him out of the corner of his eye. 

After three hours of excruciating social interacting, Louis and Liam left in a slightly drunker state than Niall. Harry, on the other hand, had nursed one beer all night and was entirely too sober to let Niall walk home alone. They were just about to reach his block when Niall stopped.

"You alright?" Harry asked him. "Are you gonna be sick?"

"Did you not like Louis?" Niall asked, his eyes glassy but not mean.

Harry groaned. "I liked him just fine."

"You barely spoke to him or looked at him the whole time. I could've sworn he was your type. Unless you're more into Liam? I think he's still dating this guy but he went away to med school so they might've broken up, I could-"

"Niall, please." Harry sighed, interrupting what was almost a 10 minute rant. "Your friends were great, okay? I just. I don't know. Louis makes me feel weird."

"Was he being too forward? He has a very strong personality, I forgot about your shyness thing. I can tell him to tone it down before we go out tomorrow night!"

"Being forward about what?" 

Niall looked at him with a confused expression. "About being into you?"

"What?" Harry felt himself blush, he hoped Niall would think it was from the alcohol.

"Harry, come  _on._ He was so obviously into you and just to make sure, I asked him when I sent you to go get drinks and-"

"Wait,  _what?"_

Now it was Niall's turn to sigh. "Honestly, Harry, sometimes I forgot how oblivious you are to your good looks."

"Shut up." Harry scoffed, slapping Niall on the back.

"Seriously, though. I know he's a little loud but he's a really great guy but if you're not into him and he makes you feel uncomfortable I promise to let him down easy on your behalf."

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop his brain from screaming at him to explain himself to Niall.

"He didn't make me feel uncomfortable." Harry mumbled.

"You just said he-"

"I said he made me feel  _weird,_  not uncomfortable."

"Harry, you're going to have to clarify because I'm a little drunk and I'm not really sure I understand the difference."

"Fine," Harry sighed for what felt like the billionth time. "But can I at least do it inside? It's starting to get chilly out and I don't have a coat."

Niall smiled like he won the lottery and let them both inside.

After a few minutes of Harry stalling to the best of his ability, Niall forced him to explain. So he did. He explained the difference between his social anxiety-induced feeling in his stomach, and the Louis-induced feeling in his chest. How looking at Louis felt different than that time Niall forced him to talk to one of the regulars at the pub who turned out to be an escort and trapped Harry in a 20 minute conversation about sex clubs. He tried his best to explain how he barely knew Louis and yet, he felt like Louis could see every thought in his head just by looking at him. How the few hours he knew him felt like an eternity. How he couldn't look at Louis for more than five seconds without  _needing_ to look away before the tightness in his chest made his heart explode. How he was so completely fucked because now Louis totally hates him for being a complete asshole and he'll never have to worry about looking at him again because Louis is going to avoid him for the rest of his life. Okay, so the last one was just him being dramatic, but the other points still stand.

"Sounds like you got a bad case of opia." Niall says simply, cracking open another beer.

"That sounds like an STD."

"It's not an STD, idiot. It's a feeling. Its like, when you have really intense feelings for someone and just looking at them makes you feel like they invaded your every thought and know everything about you without you telling them."

"How drunk are you?" Harry asked with a smirk, earning a pillow to the face.

"It's a real thing, I swear! Look it up!"

"Okay, fine." Harry says, tossing the pillow to the other side of the room so it can no longer be used as a weapon against him. "It's a real thing, so what do I do now?"

"How about I call Louis and let him know it'll be just the two of you going out tomorrow night and then you can both figure it out from there?"

Harry barely has time to answer before Niall's phone is in his hand and calling Louis.

It takes approximately three dates for Harry to be able to hold Louis' gaze, and five for him to hold that gaze long enough to let Louis know it's okay to kiss him. By their tenth date, the tightening in Harry's chest whenever Louis looks at him is the most comforting thing in the world and, just like their love, it never dulls.

**Author's Note:**

> please excuse the extreeeemely cheesy ending ok i just watched PS i love you last night do u need any other explanation
> 
> comments/kudos/questions? :)


End file.
